It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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