you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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