mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize