Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
