and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
