ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
