She announced her abortion via fbk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is Oprah even human
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
