at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
