we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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