GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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