And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This is classic penis vs brain.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
