im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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