lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
