I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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