It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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