You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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