im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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