she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
