once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
