I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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