i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
