Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
