Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
