do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
