handjob tips. give me some.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
