Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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