Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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