i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
