So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize