I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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