is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
