She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize