Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
