But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
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if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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