No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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