You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
