margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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