I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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