if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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