one might say we're banned from that church
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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