turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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