Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize