no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
