They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
