Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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