I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
