how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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