If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
