Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
