You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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