That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
