I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
