Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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