he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just threw up on my dentist
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
