I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
